I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
