margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
