please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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