Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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