Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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