So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
