i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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