Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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