# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
