I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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