I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
