Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We got so high we made milksteak
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
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