dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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