ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
