he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
