I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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