The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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