you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize