Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
