I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My vagina just recognized that song.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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