exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
