don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize