this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i think my cat just said my name.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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