11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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