Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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