Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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