dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
