i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize