Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize