Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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