oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
