I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
