dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
