Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
