Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize