So drunk its hurt
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
