i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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