I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
