Your mouth is God's brothel.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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