I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
