So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
