I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The air taste purple.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
