I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
