Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
