The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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