you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
