THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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