By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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