You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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