I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think a kid would responsible me up
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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