ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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