I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
