When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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