is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
