i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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