im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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