So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
