I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My liver just had a heart attack.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
