I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
