if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
