I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
