"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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