i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
