The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
