My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
