don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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