oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
