are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
