do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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