if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
