Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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