I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
